I've spent so much of my life trying to figure out whether I was too sensitive, too easily frightened and bothered, too pessimistic. I've reached the point where I'm trying to accept myself as simply me, to respect my responses. I refuse to pretend that everything will be fine, but I'm also trying to stop closing myself off from life. That is, I'm trying to learn to live with my fear, to do what I can not to be buried by it. The fear, depression, anxiety, sometimes hopelessness that you describe are all too real for me. But I will neither dismiss them nor let them be *all* of me, and I won't let me force me to hide from life. Thank you for sharing this, my friend. It's comforting to know I'm not alone.
Mona Dana Hinton, president, Hollins University (Leading From the Margins: College Leadership From Unexpected Place, 2024) reminds that origin stories, dangerous memory, defiance, outrage, lamentation, courage, community and truth are the stuff of revolution, inside and out. Lamentation, the cry of the individual and collective heart, is like that tree that falls in the forest ~ Does anyone hear?
When I was 9 I launched myself around a metal pipe like gymnasts twirl around the uneven parallel bars, but I fell … whomp! … and until 6 minutes ago that was the most memorable moment of having the breath knocked out of me so hard, I couldn’t be sure I’d get it back. And then I read your words. And though it’s taken a minute, my breath is back, and with it an urge to howl, wail, snarl, SCREAM … until … I don’t know what just yet. For now, a deep bow to you for this unraveling …
Someone told me in my youth, when my father was dying of cancer and I didn't understand how can I have the audacity to suffer when he and others were the ones really suffering, that pain is not something to compare. My pain is as valid and doesn't become less important and less heavy because it isn't in the shape of someone elses or at the level of someone elses. Your suffering is surely valid and how can you not suffer in a world in such pain? It all compounds. We're functional, but our bruises are still there, and there's no shame in acknowledging them.
I've spent so much of my life trying to figure out whether I was too sensitive, too easily frightened and bothered, too pessimistic. I've reached the point where I'm trying to accept myself as simply me, to respect my responses. I refuse to pretend that everything will be fine, but I'm also trying to stop closing myself off from life. That is, I'm trying to learn to live with my fear, to do what I can not to be buried by it. The fear, depression, anxiety, sometimes hopelessness that you describe are all too real for me. But I will neither dismiss them nor let them be *all* of me, and I won't let me force me to hide from life. Thank you for sharing this, my friend. It's comforting to know I'm not alone.
Thank you friend! You are definitely not alone
Mona Dana Hinton, president, Hollins University (Leading From the Margins: College Leadership From Unexpected Place, 2024) reminds that origin stories, dangerous memory, defiance, outrage, lamentation, courage, community and truth are the stuff of revolution, inside and out. Lamentation, the cry of the individual and collective heart, is like that tree that falls in the forest ~ Does anyone hear?
You've been heard, Janine.
When I was 9 I launched myself around a metal pipe like gymnasts twirl around the uneven parallel bars, but I fell … whomp! … and until 6 minutes ago that was the most memorable moment of having the breath knocked out of me so hard, I couldn’t be sure I’d get it back. And then I read your words. And though it’s taken a minute, my breath is back, and with it an urge to howl, wail, snarl, SCREAM … until … I don’t know what just yet. For now, a deep bow to you for this unraveling …
I wish humans were 100 % indicator species. Thank you for such a beautiful written piece
Or just that those who are were valued and accepted more by those who aren't. 🫤❤️ -'cos there's obvs a lot of value in diversity
I know right? Maybe we're evolving in that way... Thank you for reading.
Someone told me in my youth, when my father was dying of cancer and I didn't understand how can I have the audacity to suffer when he and others were the ones really suffering, that pain is not something to compare. My pain is as valid and doesn't become less important and less heavy because it isn't in the shape of someone elses or at the level of someone elses. Your suffering is surely valid and how can you not suffer in a world in such pain? It all compounds. We're functional, but our bruises are still there, and there's no shame in acknowledging them.
Yes. It’s an act of self love to practice that knowing. Thank you for reading!
"practice that knowing" <3 <3 love this